Have a little patience

“The most powerful thing you can do right now is to be patient while things are unfolding for you.” unknown

I know that in this busy world patience isn’t something that’s easy to cultivate. As a person with an inbuilt requirement to find the positives in any given situation, one of the things I have enjoyed observing in this pandemic is the focus there has been on the people who have more spare time than before because they’re unable to go out socialising, to the gym or to restaurants to eat etc.. and what they have chosen to do to fill some of that time.

In reality there are more extremes in operation. There will be people who have never been so busy… people who continue to do a full time job (albeit from home) and have added to that home schooling their children and having to prepare meals every day where school/work may have provided lunches and takeaways/restaurant meals were sometimes an easier option for an easy tea amid after school clubs (remember those?) and evening conference calls. There will of course be some at the opposite end of that extreme. People who find themselves furloughed, forced to stay home when work was their only escape from ‘home’. I could go on but my role is not to depress you… I just like to make you think!

I’m sure we’re mostly familiar with the analogy that dealing with change is like the grieving process and we have to go through the different stages in the Change Curve (or U bend as I affectionately refer to it 😍 ) to get out of the other side and be comfortable with said change. This all takes time. We don’t always have much time to adapt as the recent pandemic has shown us.

So what if we all could become much more relaxed about change? Would it make life easier or would it just result in chaos? Before I was diagnosed, I was a self confessed control freak. I liked to know exactly what was happening, when and particularly why. I preferred to be the one that was setting the schedules and would often complete a task myself rather than risk someone else doing it ‘the wrong way’ (read as not my way!).

When you find your world turned upside down, being at the mercy of others setting the schedules and sharing what information they deem appropriate, when they decide to share it, with so many unknowns… it sounds like the stuff of nightmares. For a while it felt like it was. But then I began to appreciate the freedom it gives me. In reality everything is constantly changing – every cell in our being to begin with – and we waste so much energy trying to fight it and mould it back into the desired shape. I think the trouble is; when things are always the same, they become at risk of disappearing from view. I know you’ve heard this saying:

The NHS is a great example of this. We have a great rally at the moment because we’re suddenly aware how important, valuable, unique, amazing (I could go on) our NHS is. Cast your mind back 6 months, can you remember hearing such a great ratio of positive to negative feedback on the NHS? I know I don’t. I remember having to repeatedly say ‘well in my experience they’ve been brilliant’ constantly defending the amazing team supporting me when people all around me were finding fault. Having a sister who lives in America and has shared how the medical system ‘works’ there is enough to inspire gratitude in the most sceptical among us for sure. Getting back to the point, I think that we feel comfortable criticising it because it’s there, it always has been (for most of us) and we don’t expect it to not be there.

We had stopped noticing what a luxury it is to have it. Like the wood that we drive past on the way to work that we never visit or think about until we see the diggers moving in to rip them down and build a housing estate. Like the river that we cross and assume is thriving but never stop to look down into the water to see that it is filled with shopping trolleys, plastic bags and fast food wrappers and is slowly dying. Like the old lady at the end of the road who spends days that now stretch into weeks without having a conversation with anyone. Not another living soul. Her neighbours not giving it a second thought until they see an ambulance outside.

What I’m saying is that change makes us take notice. It wakes us from our state of comfortable Alpha Sleep, makes us see what is going on around us and gives us the opportunity to embrace those changes, to engage with the communities impacted by the change and maybe even be a part of the change and in turn, that will help us realise that patience is required in these situations. No change is easy. It’s not easy to plan when you’re doing it in advance, with a clear purpose but when we are thrust into a situation like a pandemic where change is forced, sudden, not totally understood and required to be incredibly fluid whilst we figure out the best way to deal with it the difficulty is multiplied immensely and patience becomes even harder to find.

Patience, along with kindness, understanding, tolerance, love and all that other ‘hippy dippy BS’ that we don’t all buy into is required now more than ever. I got this ‘hippy dippy BS’ phrase from my latest discovery. Dr Lawrie Santos. She is a cognitive scientist and Professor of Psychology at Yale University amongst other things and she does a brilliant (in my opinion) pod cast series called ‘The Happiness Lab‘. What I love most about her is that she is backing up all the ‘hippy dippy BS’ about happiness and the importance of community and connection to our general wellbeing with science – Whoop Whoop!

So this blog is a bit of a call to arms. Try to embrace the hippy dippy BS (backed by science). If that’s a step too far, at least summon some patience to understand that these times are difficult and scary for all of us, even those tasked with guiding us through it. No-one has all the answers and whilst we’re in this fluid state of change, try to embrace the opportunity it gives you to see things from a different perspective and maybe even get involved in something new.

The more observant among you may have noticed a new link on the home page peacock stripe on the left hand side of the page ‘Laughter Yoga Sessions‘. As you know, I have started to feel stronger, (although I can’t lay flat or bend forwards very far yet) but I couldn’t re-start my Laughter Yoga Friday Club at the village hall so I have recorded some sessions and posted them here on that page (live streaming was beyond our broadband capacity!). I’d love you to have a look and maybe add a little extra laughter to your day by joining in. I really don’t mind if you laugh at me or with me. Either way you’re laughing and benefiting from the release of all those happy and healthy hormones into your bloodstream!

Talk to you soon,
Lots of love Mand ❤