Month: January 2016

…not us but I’ll come back to that in a minute!

So I made a good start at getting organised with my lists, unfortunately I seem to have been predisposed with moping about a bit but I have had a word and told myself to get a grip and I’m working on the motivation to get moving.

I have ticked a few more things off the list but have added more!

Last Friday I had my eyes tested as advised by Rachael the occupational therapist/back to work consultant I spoke to before Christmas. She had said that sometimes the chemo can have an effect on the eyesight and my tired eyes could be a result of my prescription having changed.  Well, all was good, which is great really, and I’m glad I don’t have the expense of new glasses but it does mean that I don’t have a quick cure for my tired eyes!

On Saturday evening we teamed up with some friends to enter as a team in the ‘quiz n chips’ fundraiser for the Hempnall Trust.  As always it was great to be out with friends and doing something different.  We had such fun, it was an excellent quiz and a break in the middle to eat freshly cooked fish and chips from the mobile chippie!  What could be better? ?  None of us were particularly confident of our abilities but we were in it for a good cause and some fun, some of us were a little more competitive than others, but we didn’t disgrace ourselves finishing in the middle of the leader board so our team name ‘the wooden spoons’ was a misnomer!

In other news, I thought you’d like a quick hair update… it’s getting curly, whoop whoop!

Talk to you soon

Lots of love Mand xxx

Here’s a photo of my good side!  I’m surprised how long it looks at the back!

 

I’ve had a few days of achieving very little.  At least that’s how I felt this morning. I am still struggling with my focus, being even more easily distracted than usual I drift between activities rarely completing anything… I realised I need lists!

Phil just doesn’t get it, being someone who processes his thoughts internally, he doesn’t see the value of getting it out of your head and down on paper, I on the other hand, do.  Needless to say, when I announced this morning that I was going to do a list I was greeted with raised eyebrows and rolled eyeballs!

The best thing about a list (other than prioritisation, organisation, structure, reward…) is the sense of achievement that I get just from writing the list ?

Since my energy levels got low I have had to adapt my list-writing style.  Where in the past I would make quick, quite high level lists, I have started to break down the items into their smaller component parts.  There are two reasons for this; the first is to help keep focus and planning by seeing the process steps and the second; to make ‘one’ item seem more of an achievement.  This may seem silly but ticking off 7 items from a list of 21 is so much more satisfying than just 1 from a list of 3.  I have even been known to add to my list with things I’ve done that weren’t on the list to give me an even bigger sense of achievement!  It’s really important for me to feel as if I’m achieving something to keep my mood up and this definitely works for me.  And even if he rolls his eyes, I know that Phil is secretly pleased that I’m doing it because he knows it helps me and that it will stop me ‘thinking out loud’ for at least a little while!

I read an article today on ways to increase your dopamine levels to feel more content.  One of them was ‘write a list’! ( full article) they also listed ‘make something’.  It’s no wonder I’m such a happy person… So many of the things I love to do contribute to the release of natural happy pills!

What did you do today to make you happy?

Talk to you soon

Lots of love Mand xxx

 

I think I may have mentioned before, that for me, one of the great things about human emotions is that happiness and sadness are not mutually exclusive.  In the saddest of moments we can find happiness, usually provoked by a memory or act of kindness or love.

Yesterday was a day filled with these special moments.  It was the funeral of someone I have known nearly all of my life, a lady who has been a big influence and who will be missed by many.

We set out from my sister’s in a snow storm, weather appropriate to our mood. By the time we arrived at the church, the sky had cleared and the sun was shining (although it was still bitterly cold) and as we met with other family members and friends, our mood lifted a little to mirror the weather.

Although we were all filled with the deep sadness of having to say goodbye to someone so special to us, we were also united in our bounty of fabulous memories that we will keep with us forever.  You know, it is ok to enjoy catching up with people we don’t see often enough as a part of the grieving process.  We celebrated life whilst remembering all the great times we had together.

It is so sad to think that we will never see someone again, but no amount of sadness will bring them back.  Whilst we need to let the sadness in as part of saying goodbye, in the longer term much better use of energy in my opinion is keeping that person alive in our memories with fondness and love.

We will certainly do that.

Talk to you soon

Lots of love Mand xxx

The world lost a legend today.

I, like many others all around the world am in a state of shock.  I don’t need to tell you, unless you have spent the day in hiding you couldn’t have missed it.  I can’t say anything that hasn’t already been said, he is a part of everyone’s life soundtrack whether you’re a fan or not.  He will not be forgotten.

Whenever someone dies before their time, it makes me think about how they organised their thoughts in those last months and weeks.  I don’t mean to sound morose but is something that I think about quite a lot. I’m not planning for this to happen for some time yet but having cancer kind of puts it right in front of your face, making it difficult to ignore but what important things will need to be said and done?

I have concluded that there shouldn’t be anything important left to be said or done.  Anything that’s important should be said or done now or in the moment it arises.  I don’t think I’ll be doing anything as exciting as recording an LP (that’s a collection of songs for my readers from the digital generation) but I know that my perspective has shifted and I am more ‘in the moment’ than I have ever been before.  Don’t save it up for a rainy day… share your soul ?

Talk to you soon

Lots of love Mand xxx

You know one of the things I heard people say when I was diagnosed was “you’ll find out who your friends are when you go through some thing like this”.

Well, I’d like to say I really have and I have a lot more than I thought!  My friends have been amazing in their support for me and I cannot say thank you enough.

Of course, I also have an awesome family but they’re obliged to love me… the rest of you aren’t!

I met a lady who had cancer a while ago, she had an estranged family member come back into her life after her diagnosis.  Some of this lady’s friends were annoyed and made negative comments about her return. She told me that she was just glad that they had the opportunity to spend some time together, regardless of the situation.  We all know that life is too short to hold grudges and let our egos get in the way of us having fun, but we still do it.  Besides getting over stuff and moving on is so much more healthy… so let it go (preferably without singing the song!) and feel lighter ?

The real subject of today’s blog is hair. I know I may come across as slightly hair obsessed; I’m actually more interested in the process than in my hair as a crowning glory although I have to say I have consulted my friend Mirfet, who is a beauty therapist (amongst other things) about my rather too hirsute (in my opinion) face.  I might talk about that another day… I might not ?

Anyway, this morning after my shower, I got distracted (this is still happening rather more than I’d like) and my hair was dry before I had brushed it.  When I caught sight of myself in a mirror, there was a  tiny mohican on my head.  I brushed my hair but it didn’t go, even splashing water on an brushing didn’t get rid of it completely… my first bad hair day in quite a while, it was brilliant ?

This made me realise how quickly it’s growing back.  I looked back through my photos and got similar poses at month intervals so you can see the progress.

November

December

January

I don’t think it will be long before I have to go to see Melissa my fabulous hairdresser!  I thought for a bit that is was starting to get a wave in it but that seems to have passed, I don’t think it’s going to be curly but that’s fine, it doesn’t seem to be as grey as I thought it was either!

Talk to you soon

Lots of love Mand xxx

With the emphasis on happy!

Other than feeling exhausted after my bone treatment, there were no after effects which was great.  I think that is a good sign now that they should be straightforward from now on ?

We had a New Year of mixed emotions but mostly happy, it was lovely to spend time with more family.

As if we didn’t know already, but a lovely relaxed time with family did me good because my blood test taken before my last bone treatment showed that the marker level has dropped slightly which could indicate lower levels of activity in the tumours which is brilliant news ? The year could not have begun better.

I hope that you all welcomed in the new year with vigour and are planning for a fabulous 2016, I know we are!

Talk to you soon

Lots of love Mand xxx