Month: August 2015

Well, there we go.  It’s done.  It seems like no time at all since I wrote about the first session.

My nurse today was Sharon, she is a little older than me but you wouldn’t have known. They all look so young, it must be a reward from nature for doing such an amazing job!  Sharon was great, she is Norfolk born and trained in Norwich.

My veins did not behave, it took two attempts to get into a vein that would work but once we were in (with a smaller needle) the blood test was good so we could get it over and done with 🙂

Sharon talked with me about my diagnosis about the treatment I have been having. She said that the FEC combination of drugs is particularly hard on the whole body so I really have been lucky with my side effects.  We also talked about how good the other blood tests have been.  I know that my liver can cope with the number and size of tumours in there because I was ‘well’ before we discovered them!  Sharon showed me that the blood tests show that even with being bombarded with all these chemicals, my liver performance has been consistently good.

All these signs bode well for the future and we are feeling really positive so we decided to celebrate by going out for lunch!  Because of the later start time and the smaller needle which made the flow slower it was just after midday when we finished. It has been a miserable day, cool and rainy but we headed into the city and has a celebratory lunch.

This is my celebration face!

We managed to get one more photo with a dragon in the rain!

The nausea has kicked in as have the sausage arms but we know we can deal with it and it will all be over soon.

Thank you all once again for all your support.

Talk to you soon

Lots of love Mand xxx

Well here we are, it is the eve of my last chemotherapy treatment.  We have had a lovely relaxing day today although it began with the sound of the doorbell.

Our neighbour called by to collect Dude and me to go for a walk.  I quickly organised myself and we went for a lovely walk.  When I returned Phil had croissants!  Yesterday I collected some greengages from another neighbour so I sliced a few, added some honey and cinnamon and cooked them down to make a sugar free conserve.  Delicious even if I say so myself!!

This afternoon, after my nap Phil and I took Dude out together.  We are both feeling a bit strange about tomorrow, it’s the end of what we have come to know and the beginning of something new, that we don’t know yet, but it is to become our new normal.  The great thing is that we both know that we are surrounded by love and support.  This comes from all of you who read this blog, and more people that we know who ‘don’t do the internet’ and the universe in general.

I know you may think I am bonkers but on our walk this afternoon I saw the love from the universe in nature!

 

Proof if it were needed I think!

Talk to you soon

Lots of love Mand xxx

This morning I had my ‘Friday of week 3’ pre-chemo call with one of the nurses from the chemotherapy team.  Today I spoke to Mary and as I had hoped would be the case, she had my blood test results.  Except for the white blood cells (no surprise there) they were all good which is brilliant.  It means that as long as my white cells bounce back up, I’ll be able to have my final chemo session on Monday.

Whoop Whoop!!

Mary did warn me that the tiredness often accumulates and is likely to be even more intense this time around so I will be ready for it this time and make sure that I take it easy and not try to fight it 🙂

Today we went into the city for lunch and found some dragons… we just looked them up and they’re only there until next weekend and there are 84 large and 120 babies so my chances of getting pictures with them all are slim but here are three!

I hope you have a fabulous weekend, I intend to!

Talk to you soon

Lots of love Mand xxx

 

We have had a couple of busy days.

Yesterday morning we headed out to the Big C for our second complimentary therapy session.  Phil had a well deserved relaxing back massage and I followed with a light touch reflexology foot massage – absolute bliss!  I said to Rachael the therapist that I think that when I’m that relaxed, I should really do some of my visualisation because it is a great state for that but I was so lost in the luxuriousness of the massage that I just soaked it up 🙂

Phil bought me another t-shirt – this photo is for you Red!

We then hot-footed it home ready to receive our friends Liz and Mark.  I met Liz and Mark in 1992 when I came back to the UK and moved to Derbyshire.  They, along with Liz’s brother Richard run the Forest Garden Centre in Two Dales between Matlock and Bakewell where I worked for four very happy years.

We have kept in touch throughout the years but haven’t got together for a while so it was lovely to spend time with them both catching up and eating… just like old times!  If laughter really is the best medicine, my blood tests will be perfect!  Liz and Mark had seen the picture of Crystal that I posted on this blog and brought us two beautiful purple toned plants in purple pots to compliment her perfectly!

This morning I had my pre-chemo blood tests taken ready for Monday.  We now have three days to get me into tip top form so that we can get the final chemo over and done with.  It seems like no time at all since the first one, it’s difficult to believe that its the last one – Fantastico!

Talk to you soon

Lots of love Mand xxx

This afternoon we went to see Dr Alexander, my consultant oncologist and once again she was very happy with my progress.

You may remember me talking before about the tumour markers in my blood that indicate the level of growth/activity.  On May 14th this year, my initial blood test had the marker level at 171.2, it has been dropping throughout my treatment and the latest test on August 7th had it at 57.2.  To put some context around it, the top of the ‘normal’ scale is 35 so we have really made a load of progress 🙂

I also have my prescription request for Tamoxifen, the hormone suppressant which I will start taking 3 weeks after my final chemotherapy session which is Monday (August 31st).  The type of breast cancer I have feeds on oestrogen so suppressing its production should prevent the tumours from growing again now that the chemotherapy has given them the initial beating.

The CT scan on September 19th will check that there has been no more growth to the tumours in my liver and then at our meeting with Dr Alexander on September 30th we will discuss in more detail the on-going monitoring and containment schedule.

There it is – we have a plan for the transition into phase 2.  This makes me feel good, as you know, I like to have a plan!

Dr Alexander wasn’t at all surprised that I had been feeling exhausted this time, she said it’s a lot for your body to be dealing with.  I also had a chat with Pat, my Red Arc nurse this morning who said the same thing so in a strange way, I feel better about that too, as if they have reassured me that it was ok to feel a bit battered for a few days.  I must remember this and if I start to feel low again, I can give Pat a call for reassurance.  Right at the beginning of this situation, my boss Duncan said to me ‘make sure that you ask for help if you need it’ and ‘it’s ok to ask for help to get through this, you may well need it’.  I hadn’t realised how self-sufficient I am inclined to be but I can see it now and he was absolutely right (of course!).

I also had a visit from my friend, ex-colleague and current Zumba instructor Sarah of the now legendary ChowZumba!  I haven’t been to Zumba since my treatment started but she brought my new vest with her which I am really looking forward to getting sparkly as soon as my treatment is over and my strength back.

Talk to you soon

Lots of love Mand xxx

This morning Phil shaved my head!

You may remember that when my hair was falling out, I went to see my fabulous hairdresser Melissa and she cut what I had left to about 7mm in length all over.  (‘was my Mum right?‘)  At the time, there was still quite a bit to fall out, particularly on the crown and most of it had gone by the end of the week.  None of it had grown since that day.

There were however a few stubborn, rebellious hairs that refused to fall out that left me looking like an old balding man!  I have been looking into having a Henna Crown but I really didn’t want to do it with the ‘not-so-designer’ stubble.  I talked to a couple of the nurses about it at my last chemo session and they said that I could try a hair removal cream for sensitive skin but on reflection, I was reluctant to bombard my body with more chemicals, I think it’s had enough of those really.

Then this morning I remembered that I had an electric razor.  You’re not allowed to wet shave because of the risk of cutting yourself and allowing an infection in however, a ladyshave is unlikely to cut the skin so I asked Phil if he’d do it for me.  He was really gentle and I am thrilled with the result – I wish I’d thought of it weeks ago!

Although I am still unlikely to walk down the street without some form of headwear… I will at least feel more comfortable with guests at home 🙂

It has rained quite a lot today which has meant that Munch has been at home rather than out exploring.  When I went for my nap, I found him chillaxing on our bed!  I couldn’t be cross though because we shared a rare moment of affection that made my day… I’m so easily pleased.

 

So back to the issue in hand.  This is the beginning of week three (for the last time – yay!) so the focus again is on building my reserves with nutrition, hydration and relaxation and today was a great start.  We see the oncologist, Dr Alexander tomorrow at 16:00 for a progress check before my final chemotherapy next Monday.  I’ll let you know how it goes.

Talk to you soon

Lots of love Mand xxx

 

… doing therapy again

Retail therapy, creative therapy and friend therapy!

On Thursday we went into the city (that’s Norwich 🙂 ) to buy some new saucepans. We thought that with all this healthy eating we’re doing, maybe the fact that we also appear to be eating the non-stick coating from the pans could be counter productive so it was about time for some new ones!  Food does seem to taste better, it’s probably psychosomatic but it works for me.  It will sound ridiculous but just spending an hour shopping for something as mundane as pans, something that has nothing to do with the current situation was great, normal, refreshing.

When my friend Claire came to visit with Trina, she brought me a lovely transfer for the wall.  I was reluctant to stick it to the wall because I love it and wasn’t sure how you would decorate around it without spoiling it and I want it to last longer than until we next decorate.  I have been thinking about it a lot. I bought a canvas a few weeks ago but it wasn’t until Wednesday that I decided what to do.  I sketched out a plan and then Thursday I painted the canvas and Friday applied the transfer – this is the result, I’m thrilled!

This is the kind of project I would have done in less than a day in the past.  As well as struggling to make a decision about anything and getting worn out at the thought of doing anything at the moment, I have lost some of my confidence.  In the end I had to say to myself ‘for goodness sake – its an £8 canvas, just get some paint on it and if it doesn’t work try something different!’.  I’m sure that once we have a containment plan and I begin to get into a routine that is my ‘new normal’ it will all come flooding back.

One thing that I know helps with that is my friends.  I know that I keep banging on about how important all the support I get from you all is and I’m never going to apologise for that because its true, and I will continue to keep banging on about it!!

We are a group of six, who all worked together at May Gurney in the past.   Kerry, Sam, Hayley, Sarah, Louise and Me.  We mostly now work in other places but we still get together for each other’s birthdays which are conveniently quite evenly spaced throughout the year.  I missed the last one in June because it was too close to a chemo session but last night we got together.

We had a lovely time with good food and banter and it really lifted my spirits – thank you girls 🙂 the two and a half hours we were together disappeared in the blink of an eye.  I’m already looking forward to the next one.

All this therapy has done me the world of good.  I am in a completely different place mentally from where I was this time last week.  Thank you for your support.

Talk to you soon

Lots of love Mand xxx

 

A- About 60 seconds!

Yesterday my friend Roo came to see us.  We worked out that we hadn’t seen each other for 26 years.  We met a couple of times when we were at primary school because our Mums worked together, we grew up in rural Cambridgeshire villages that were next to each other but each had its own primary school so we were in different schools and didn’t really get to know each other until we all went to the same secondary school in Witchford that had a catchment area of several villages.

We were in the same year but different forms however we were in the same class for several subjects and we developed a friendship that endured our 5 years in secondary school along with a core of four others, Sarah, Louise, Sarah, and Andrea.  I believe that period in every person’s life from age 11 to 16 is a critical time for us, its when we get a real sense of who we are and who we want to be.  I truly believe that for me, our deep core of friendship that was pretty much constant throughout secondary school (of course we had ups and downs – we were children after all!) really helped me to feel comfortable with who I am.  Those who know me will know that I’m never afraid to have my own opinion or to ask questions when I don’t understand something or want to know more.  As a group of girls this approach was nurtured, we didn’t judge or make fun of each other, we had fun together and supported each other.  We had so much fun.  We were inquisitive and excited about life.  At the time, we had no idea how important what we had was and indeed we have all drifted apart in varying degrees but I hope that they value what we had as much as I do.

Roo arrived and we were instantly comfortable with each other.  We did a lot of talking – there’s lots to catch up on after 26 years… and it felt great.  We filled each other in on everything we’ve been doing since we last met and of course reminisced about old times.  Its funny how we both remembered some things and there were others that we had forgotten about.  How did we ever get a Radio 1 Roadshow in Coveney?!!  We will definitely be meeting up again and may see if any of our other friends would like to join us.

This reconnection with people who have made an impact on my life in different ways and at different times has to be one of the most amazing things about this situation we are in.  It would have been great if I had had the initiative to stop, think about and connect with them without cancer kicking me up the arse to do it however, it’s definitely a positive to chalk up 😉

Talk to you soon

Lots of love Mand xxx

I listened to the advice of my support network and my body and took it easy this weekend.  Although the general advice is not to take to your bed during the treatment and play the victim, sometimes you have to give into it to allow your body to cope instead of fighting it all the time.  I did stop short of taking to my bed and mainly lounged on the sofa!

As a result, I am feeling much better today.  I am still sore but mentally I am in a much better place.  Thank you again to all of you for your love and support that is a complete rescue remedy in those more difficult times.

Much more interestingly… we have been blogged.  As a result of Mum mentioning my blog to the Big C when we gave them the cheque, Greg their marketing guy got in touch and asked if they could mention our blog on their blog!

You can click HERE to go straight to the post and have a look, it’s a lovely piece, I think it’s really exciting, I hope you do too!

As we are at the beginning of week 2 for the 5th (and penultimate!) time, I am trying to focus on letting the chemo do its thing, supporting my glory with the visualisation and remaining as relaxed and healthy as possible.  I think more creative therapy is called for… and lunch with an old friend tomorrow which I’m really looking forward to.  I’ll keep you posted 🙂

Talk to you soon

Lots of love Mand xxx

 

 

I have been a bit wiped out by the last chemo session and allowed my mood to drop a little, not my proudest moment.

So last night after a delicious tea of salad nicoise made with  French beans from the garden, no egg but freshly cooked tuna (I am salivating as I type!!) we decided to go out with Dude to change our state.

Looking across the fields, it appeared at one point that the weather was closing in from all sides however, it was not raining so we set forth.

When faced with this type of situation, it can be easy to shut down and become too internally focussed.  For me, this is an unusual place to be because I am generally an external processer and I think out loud sharing each thought before it is properly formed or considered, which isn’t always helpful… but it is part of who I am.  By getting outside and changing our state we freed up the channels of communication.  As we walked, we talked about what was on our minds, sharing concerns and thoughts allowing the words to flow more easily in the cool breeze.  As we chatted we felt our mood lift and out of the gloom a rainbow appeared.

The situation had not changed but the way we were looking at it had.  Everyone has heard ‘a problem shared is a problem halved’, maybe sharing doesn’t always solve the problem but it certainly helps to put things into context and gain a better understanding of each other’s perspective.  It reminded us to focus on the positives and embrace all the great things we have going for us, to keep our spirits high and make the most of every experience.  Often you don’t even have to look for the rainbows, they’re right there waiting for you.

Time for a family photo!

Talk to you soon

Lots of love Mand xxx