Month: June 2015

Today I am feeling a bit better, the super anti-sickness drugs seem to be stuck in transit somewhere but I’m doing ok.

The day I have not been looking forward to is coming, my eyebrows have started to fall out.  Somehow that seems more significant than my hair falling out.  I think it may be because I felt prepared for my hair falling out with my wigs, scarves and hats.  So, I have been thinking about how I could get myself ready for this stage.

When I was on the Look Good Feel Better LGFB workshop I learnt the technique for drawing in eyebrows, lots of small strokes, no long solid lines.  I also learnt that my eyebrows are sisters, but they’re not twins!  I totally love that phrase!  Anyhoo… I have been filling them in with my new eyebrow pencil to get a feel for it but I am worried that if they’ve all gone I won’t know where to draw them.

The solution was to make a template and quickly so that it is based on my natural eyebrows. Ta-Dah!

Talk to you soon

Lots of love Mand xxx

Well here we are, half way through.  It feels momentous!

I am feeling better than last time but I still have some nausea so I have some different anti-sickness drugs being delivered to my GP tomorrow so that should help.

Today my nurse was Jo.  Jo is gorgeous, she is a bit younger and a lot smaller than me!  She was as different again as Sam was from Jackie.  When I asked her why she had decided to become a nurse she visibly shone and said “it was just always what I wanted to do, I suppose its just about wanting to help people”.  She is originally from London, she moved to Norfolk just after she was married 20 years ago with her husband to follow a job opportunity he had.  She joined the N&N hospital on the oncology ward shortly after.  Although initially Jo was reluctant to leave London, she now says that she wouldn’t want to go back.  She and her husband have brought up her children in Norfolk. It was lovely to chat with her 🙂

When I did my visualisation before my nap this afternoon the knights, their horses and swords entered as the last time but waiting to welcome them was a glory of unicorns (what a fabulous collective noun 🙂 ).  I have received all sorts of gifts from all sorts of people with a unicorn theme which has seriously reinforced the full-time resources and it seems that there is strength in numbers!  They were expertly guiding the knights to where they are most required and also added some kind of ‘electrical’ power to their swords which has made them work more like wands in attacking the tumours – the battle is well and truly on!

 

It would appear that my wolf could very well be Dude in disguise!!

Talk to you soon

Lots of love Mand xxx

I’m just going to have a little rant.

Recently there was a very brave lady who posted on Face Book about her diagnosis of breast cancer.  She said that she had never done anything like it before but she posted a tastefully edited picture of her breast which had a tiny ‘dimple’ for the want of a better word.  This dimple was the symptom of her breast cancer.  She was urging people (men get breast cancer too) to be vigilant and to get any changes in the breast checked out quickly to give yourself the best chance to fight it.

My breast cancer didn’t give me any symptoms.  Even the breast specialist didn’t feel it in an examination.  It was only the mammogram that showed where it was.

So yes, being vigilant is critical, we should all check ourselves regularly and have the courage to go to the doctor if we feel unsure about anything.

What is equally as important is that if you receive an invitation for screening of any kind GO.  I have spoken to a couple of people since my diagnosis who have said – “oh yes, I had a letter about ‘X’ screening, I really should follow that up”.  I said “Yes, you really should!”

I’m 44 so not in the high risk category yet and was not invited to have a mammogram.  Things may be very different if I had.

So please promise me that the next time you get an invitation to go for any tests, just do it.

I’m all ready to head off for reinforcement deployment three tomorrow morning.  I’ll let you know how it goes 🙂

Talk to you soon

Lots of love Mand xxx

 

This morning I had my blood test ready for the next chemo session on Monday.  I have done all I can to ensure I am in tip-top condition.  I am however prepared this time for the fact that I may have to have a re-test on Monday, it’s just the way it is and there’s no point worrying about it.

At the ‘look good feel better’ workshop on Tuesday we chatted over coffee a little about our experiences of cancer.  At least a couple of the ladies said that they had had their treatments put back a week or so at least once due to low blood counts or infections, one lady had a really bad experience with chemotherapy but generally the consensus was that it’s pretty horrible but it is a necessary evil.  I was reading a book at the Big C today that was written by a guy who had been through cancer twice and he talked about how each experience was completely different for him.  The thing is, being a bit of a control freak, it just doesn’t sit well with me.  I want to know what to expect.  But as my Mum often used to say to me, ‘I want doesn’t get’ and this is no exception to that rule. We are therefore living in the ‘every day is a learning day’ world instead 🙂 so I am as prepared as I can be.

We were at the Big C because we had one of our complimentary therapies booked.  Rachael was the therapist in residence today.  She gave Phil his taster when we were there for my wig fitting.  When I went into the treatment room Rachael gave me the option of a massage or reflexology.  She explained that both would be very gentle, and were about relaxation with no essential oils because you can’t have tissue stimulation when you’re having chemotherapy (I don’t actually know why, I really should find out!).  Anyhoo… I went with the reflexology.  It was lovely, very relaxing and soothing.  We have booked the next one!

Phil then took me out for a naughty lunch before coming home 🙂  I feel thoroughly pampered!

Talk to you soon

Lots of love Mand xxx

One of the things that knocked me for six when I was diagnosed was the feeling of vulnerability.

I have always been pretty independent and happy to go to new places and meet new people on my own but this changed instantly when I was diagnosed and I became very clingy with Phil.  To the point that I almost had a panic attack outside Morrisons when I couldn’t find him in the car park! I have been gradually ‘weaning’ myself off Phil for his sanity as much as my own.  Last week I drove to Diss to pick Zora up from the station on my own (20 mins)… this morning I drove to my Dad’s (1hr 20 mins!) 🙂  Phil is helping out a friend with some painting and we received a notification that our power was going to be off for part or all of the day for ‘essential’ maintenance work so I decided to ‘man-up’ and take a trip!

After a quick check up with the doctor, I set off and had a very uneventful journey to Witchford.  Chris made a fabulously decadent roast chicken salad with barbeque charred asparagus and broccoli which we ate in the garden (under the shade of the umbrella!) delicious.  After my nap (one of my favourite new habits 😉 ) we went for a walk in the village.  Dad and Chris have lived in this village for 35 years and today we discovered a new walk and a beautiful meadow!!

It just goes to show how much there is still to be explored and discovered on our own door steps;  we don’t always have to get too far out of our comfort zones to have new experiences.

I am now recovering from a delicious tea of Spicy Seafood stew (totes amaze!) and fresh sweet local strawberries feeling very spoilt and also a little bit braver and more independent than I did yesterday.  It feels good 🙂

Talk to you soon

Lots of love Mand xxx

Yesterday I had a bit of a technical hitch…

One of the side effects of the chemo is my skin drying out and surprisingly, that includes my finger tips!  Let me explain… I have a fingerprint reader on my laptop and yesterday, it didn’t recognise me!  I had been using it for so long, I couldn’t remember my password.  Luckily, I had also got Phil to scan in one of his fingers for access and his worked, Phew!

So I have updated my password and am now using even more moisturiser – I did get it to work once yesterday…

Once over this minor identity crisis, I went to the Big C  today for the ‘Look Good Feel Better’ workshop.  It was great, there was a team of beauticians that took us through our goodie bag filled with top quality products.  We cleansed, toned and moisturised before applying the make-up products.  These included foundation, blush, eyeliner, eye shadow, lip-liner, lipstick and the essential eyebrow pencil!!

It was great to learn some new techniques for applying make up and really interesting to meet 8 other ladies who are going through treatment for some form of cancer.  We were all receiving different treatments and having different responses to them.  You know, the doctors and other medical professionals all say that ‘everyone is different’.  Sometimes that feels a bit like a cop out, like they don’t want to tell you so they make it vague …but I was wrong, which feels good 🙂

Following the make-up workshop, Daphne from the Big C ran a scarf tying and hat workshop.  As a result, I have another new look!

I’m not sure where I was going wrong with my look before, but strangely, this range of looks I now have seem to suit me more than previous ones did.  Phil even smiles at me every time he sees me with nothing on my head, he really quite likes me bald too!

I can’t see this as anything other than an opportunity to try out new looks and I’m having fun with it!

Talk to you soon

Lots of love Mand xxx

Right. So this is week three, the week to focus on rest and relaxation along with hydration and nutrition to allow my body to recharge ready for the deployment of reinforcements session 3 (half way hurrah – bring out the bunting!!).

I feel as if I have at last got to grips with my body’s requirements to facilitate optimum digestion processes 😉

The key seems to be:

1 glass of prune juice and 1 500ml bottle of Aloe Juice each day
3 litres of liquid (water, milk, herbal teas etc.)
Very little (if any) bread, pasta, rice
A little potato, beans and pulses
Good quality protein – mainly chicken and fish, a little beef
No processed foods or meats… no sausages, ham, bacon 🙁
Loads of (about 75% of everything I consume) fresh fruit and vegetables

It’s not so bad and having a chef for a husband really helps #whataluckygirliam!!

So with that organised I can focus on the other elements of the strategy, quality rest and relaxation for the body and mind.  Tomorrow I am attending a workshop at the Big C called ‘look good, feel good’.  It is about skincare and makeup techniques.  Luckily, I haven’t lost my eyebrows yet but I am looking forward to learning how to ‘draw them in’ so that if/when they do go I will be able to fake it!  I was worried about having an issue with my foundation… knowing where to stop but I am just blending up onto my head, way beyond my wig or hat line so that I don’t look too weird when I take them off when I’m at home with Phil!

The workshop is followed by a hat and scarf demo – watch this space for new looks 🙂

Talk to you soon

Lots of love Mand xxx

My friend Zora is visiting from Aberdeen.

I spend every other week in Aberdeen in my real life and Zora and I regularly eat out at Yo Sushi. So as we were together for the first time since March we just had to go there for lunch!!

We had a lovely time, ate far too much and caught up on all the office gossip, just the usual!

It reminded me that we really are creatures of habit and find comfort in the familiar but it doesn’t mean that we can’t build new habits that are healthier or more productive or just more appropriate to our current situation.  Whilst I am busy working on new habits like drinking more water and improving my diet, I think it’s important to keep some of the old ones (like eating sushi with Zora) to maintain some sense of normality and the comfort that brings with it.

And we did get some bunting made before Mum left yesterday 🙂

Talk to you soon

Lots of love Mand xxx

As you all know, I am full of admiration for the work that the army of volunteers and others at Big C do.  You also know that my Mum and Richie live in Derbyshire and my Mother-in-Law Joan lives in Hampshire so they are all a long way from us here in Norfolk (to be honest, most places are a long way from Norfolk but we quite like that).  Dad and Chris are in Cambridgeshire where I grew up so that’s not such a trek but it’s not just around the corner 🙂

Anyway…. this isn’t a lesson in my family tree, what I wanted to say is that some of my family and friends feel as if they are a long way away and a bit helpless in terms of support.  Now whilst I don’t feel that at all because every card, phone call or comment on the blog offers immense support to us both in this experience; I can’t fail to be humbled further by the acts of support and there are a couple I would like to mention.

Before I do, I feel I need to issue a disclaimer!  The fact that I am mentioning these does not mean that I think others should do the same or that I expect anyone to do anything other than offering the love and support that I already feel from you all.  I don’t want anyone to feel obligated to do anything… honestly. I really mean that from the bottom of my heart.  I have been thinking long and hard about this!

OK lecture over!

My Mum and Richie are having a coffee morning with the support of an army of friends in Derbyshire on July 25th where they will have cakes and refreshments and a craft sale so if you’re in the vicinity give her a call to let her know you’ll be coming.  She and Richie have popped down to see us for a couple of days, they arrived yesterday afternoon and Mum and I will be making bunting for the garden in the morning before they leave 🙂

Joan, my mother-in-law has had a pink flash dyed in her hair in an act of solidarity with me (and Sugar!)

As well as being asked several times if she’d cut her head… Joan has been offered donations by her friends and she is collecting them to bring to us for Big C when she comes to visit in July.

I will go back to my disclaimer; please don’t think that you should be doing anything like this.  I just wanted to share these with you.

Talk to you soon

Lots of love Mand

 

Talk to you soon

Lots of love Mand xxx