I feel a bit like a naughty catholic school girl who has missed confession too many times!! I am really sorry if any of you saw my absence as a sign that something was very wrong, I have agreed with Phil that if anything really bad is going on and for some reason I can’t get to my iPad (and things would have to be really bad for that😜) he will log in and let you know. From now; the old “no news is good news” saying holds true ❤️ But whilst I’m here I may as well give you some news!
I can hardly believe that we’re half way through the year already. The barley in the field behind our house is already taking on a golden hue and we’re eating freshly picked strawberries every day 🍓 I have to admit I think I went into myself a bit for a while. I had a subconscious awareness that the statistics for my diagnosis say that the average life expectancy is 3 years and I ‘celebrated’ that anniversary in April. Now if I’m honest; outwardly, I have never thought that would apply to me because the patient has to have actually died to be included and more of us are living longer and fortunately we are yet to become statistics. Also, I have great faith in my medical team, family and friendships and couldn’t see how it could be over, not so soon. And it really does feel ‘soon’, the time since my diagnosis has simply flown by; so much so that sometimes I feel like it is running away from me. I always have more things to do than I have time or energy for which can be frustrating. I do not allow it to get to me though, mostly, but then I have times where I feel like I’m wasting time relaxing and sleeping when I could be doing something more constructive but I have to accept that my body needs time out and right now that is the best way to love myself ❤️
I have had my oral chemo dosage reduced again and my markers remain ensconced in the ‘normal zone’. I now take it for 10 days and have 11 days off which is a psychological boost, a personal mini win along the way.
We were at the hospital today to see Dr Alexander and to have my bone treatment. My marker sits at 21 this week which is great (anything below 35 is considered normal) and all the other things they measure are in the normal zone including my liver and kidney functions. We’re going on holiday in July and I asked if I could have a ‘holiday’ from the Capecitabine and she said yes! So I don’t have to take any more until we get back which will hopefully result in me having a bit more energy and less of a chance of a flare up of my feet and hands can I hear a whoop whoop?!! The nurse who administered my bone treatment today was Helen, she is relatively new to the department and doesn’t work Fridays (my usual treatment day) so I hadn’t met her before. When I asked her about my bloods she took a double take because she wasn’t expecting them to be that good!!!
Throughout everything I have always managed to do a Laughter Yoga session in Hempnall on a Friday morning even when I haven’t found time to write a plan and we play a game of lucky dip selecting the laughter exercises randomly from my Tibetan bowl!! The ladies who come are another crucial part of my defences, the love and laughter we generate in that room is magical 😁
Please be happy and remember to love yourselves
lots of love
Mand ❤️