I spent most of the weekend thinking about what needs to be done and what we want to do, how the latest developments in this situation impact the new normal or at least what I thought it would be and generally going around in circles in my mind. Needless to say, it wasn’t very productive or good for my state of mind.
Becoming more and more overwhelmed I remembered the basics; If something seems too big to deal with, break it down into small, manageable chunks.
Some of the issues are ridiculous and I can get to work on them quickly like being able to get back into a routine. In the beginning we kept a routine as much as we could, getting up to an alarm, morning walks with Dude etc. and we have slipped out of it, particularly since the last chemo when I had no energy at all. So this week we are back to setting the alarm and getting back into a routine. It still takes me much longer than before to get myself together in the morning (I’ve never been quick!!) but even without hair to wash, dry or style it takes me longer… even if I don’t put my eyebrows on 😉
The thing is, just typing this feels really pathetic! Seriously… I’m getting stressed out about being able to get back into a routine – what is that all about?!
Pat, my Red Arc Nurse continues to be a brilliant support and have the intuition to know exactly when to call me. We talked on Friday about how I was feeling and she had sent me an article by Dr Peter Harvey who is a Consultant Clinical Psychologist entitled ‘After The Treatment Finishes – Then What? It is an excerpt from the full presentation but the basic concept is there. He talks of three key steps in the recovery part of a framework to heal your body and mind; recuperation, convalescence and rehabilitation. I think that I may be trying to nail rehabilitation before I have conquered recuperation, I have to remind myself that this time last week I was talking about feeling a bit sore before getting up to only be able to walk like an old lady and spending tomorrow morning in hospital!
So my mission this week is to be a bit less hard on myself whilst building back in some structure… wish me luck!
Talk to you soon
Lots of love Mand xxx
Good luck Mand xx I’m sure if you build your routine and structure at a level you’re comfortable with achieving physically and mentally you’ll reap the rewards by gradually introducing bite sized extras. You’ve been all over the place lately so its bound to have a great levelling effect for you. I look forward to reading your next blog to see how you’ve done xx take care and make sure recuperation is given half a chance :0)
Our darling girl, we are all so proud of your positive attitude and the way you have coped so amazingly well throughout your treatment so far. I suppose we all thought subconsciously that when the course of chemotherapy was over that there would be no more obstacles on the road to your recovery. We are so sorry that this has not been the case but hope that you will soon be feeling much better.
Take care, love you xxxx
I can totally connect with this, trying so hard to do the ‘right’ thing that you end up going round in circles and feeling like you have not achieved anything. Be kind to yourself, there is no rush x
Hi Amanda, I don’t know how you cope with all this but am constantly amazed that you do. I am still unicorn spotting, not intentionally but all my family point them out to me, I have educated them all you see. We had a charity bingo night a couple of weeks ago for the Big C, we raised £300 which was great and I have asked them to add the charity to the list again for next year, keep strong mate, speak to you soon xxx
Mand,
Sorry I haven’t been keeping up with the blog. I haven’t been on a computer for 2 weeks. Lovely talking with you in person the other day! I hope you get yourself in a better routine, love you!!
Booie and Dave XX
If it’s any consolation I’ve completely failed so far to get myself into any kind of routine since I’ve been back and I have nothing no more demanding than everyday life to deal with.
Cut yourself some slack, take a break and enjoy the autumnal changes.
Take care xxxx